6 Cliches To Help You Survive Infidelity
submitted: Jul 30th 2008 |
by: AlexArcher
Total views: 10 |
Word Count: 579 |
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Many sayings have been around for years, but they have remained true throughout changes in culture and society. They are as applicable today as they were the first time they were spoken or written. There are six old adages that especially apply to surviving infidelity in your relationship.
You cannot see the forest because of the trees. This adage applies to how you feel when you first find out about the infidelity. The infidelity becomes the only thing we can focus on. We only see our hurt, anger and pain, not why the situation happened. Try to step back from the situation and see it as a whole. Look at what happened in and around the situation rather than just at the infidelity itself.
Experience is the best way to learn. Once you learn to focus on the forest rather than the tree, take time to grow from the experience. It is easy to play make believe as a child or young person, but you will never understand the feelings, emotions, and passions inside of you until you experience them. Decide with your partner that this is a one-time thing and work to put it in your past so you can move into your continued future together.
A penny for your thoughts. Every self-help book, every so-called expert on TV, and every marriage counselor will tell you, because it's true, there is no marriage, no relationship, without honest communication. It is the key to everything. Not just issues of infidelity but all issues. The hardest part is communicating something that you know will upset the other person, even hurt them. But letting it fester inside of you just makes it worse when it finally comes out, and it always does.
It is not you, it is me. Of all of the sayings mentioned here, this is the only one that is a warning. Do NOT use this saying in healing from infidelity. The blame does not all fall on one person. Even if you were cheated on, take some responsibility for the situation. It is always easier to blame the other person, but if you split the fault and realize what each of you did to contribute to the event, you will be able to move on to a brighter future.
It may not be easy even if it's simple. A wedding is simple. All you have to do is get a license, find someone to perform the ceremony, and move in together. The marriage that follows is not easy though. You become a part of a full-time commitment to another human being that will require hours of work each day. The ability to communicate, learn when to fight and when to step back, forgive your partner will all play crucial roles in your marriage succeeding.
All wounds are healed by time. This is the most applicable adage to infidelity. You may think you will never survive the hurt and pain you feel, but you can move past it to sunny days. Work through it with your partner and forgive each other for past errors if you want to make your marriage work. The infidelity will fade into the blur of the past as you walk together into a new future.
These adages, while appropriate for adultery, are also applicable in the rest of life. They will help your marriage survive and thrive, even after infidelity. Hopefully these adages will stay with you if you ever are forced to experience adultery.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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