Can Marriage Be Saved After An Affair?
submitted: Apr 29th 2008 |
by: AlexArcher
Total views: 8 |
Word Count: 479 |
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The betrayal of having an affair can be devastating to your marriage. You will lose the trust of your partner and hope can be gone. This is not only a physical thing, most affairs have an element of emotional bonding as well. If you are willing to make an effort, your marriage may still be saved.
The first obstacle is to tackle is the rebuilding of trust. The offending partner must work very hard to show that they are trustworthy. This is definitely not an easy thing to do after an affair, but it can be done through hard work.
An affair will also bring into question the degree of commitment and love. After being caught in an affair, one must also work hard to get their partner to see them in a positive light. The love, physical and emotional, will not be easily replaced, rebuilt, or renewed but like trust, these things can be restored. Remembering that forgiveness and reconciliation are not instantaneous will help. Minimum recovery time for two people who are motivated, honest, patient, and sincere is 18 months. It can take longer. Don't rush.
One of the main things to be learned will be to compromise. This must be done in order to continue in the recovery process. A new and better relationship must be created and habits and attitudes will need to evolve.
Knowing one's partner has been with someone else is a tough mental block to get through. Unless that is worked through, there is no chance for the relationship. However, if that can be surpassed, the relationship has a great chance.
During recovery, there may be quite a while with no physical intimacy. But as you go through that period, remember that the basis of your relationship is not sex, it is the melding of hearts and lives. Focus on the other aspects of your relationship. Learning to see and appreciate other facets of your mate may be the best thing you've ever done to strengthen your relationship. Above all, be patient. Better the long awaited but sincere reconciliation than the hasty reconciliation that falls apart.
Of course, there is never a guarantee that your relationship can survive an affair, or that your partner will think it is worth saving. Just keep in mind that after recovering from this, your marriage may be a stronger and better one. The tests involved in saving your marriage must be passed in order to for the injured party to heal.
It is true that an affair can ruin a marriage, but if both parties wish to fight for their marriage, it can be done and may even become stronger. We, as humans, want to physically and emotionally connect with one another at a level that is deep, which is why striving to save what you have can bring you peace.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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