Divorce - The Costs Go Beyond The Financial
submitted: Aug 4th 2008 |
by: AlexArcher
Total views: 14 |
Word Count: 592 |
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Despite the images that are sometimes portrayed in the media, a divorce can be a bitter experience even if the parties involved are fairly friendly through the process. Should there be kids involved in the crossfire, the experience of a divorce can be made even worse. Children can be left feeling like there is something missing with the breakdown of their family structure, ultimately resulting in many children having feelings of being abandoned and left by their parents. Other more severe emotional concerns can crop up later in life as a result of a divorce as well for children.
The costs to the people involved in terms of emotional scarring and breakdowns can far exceed the financial impact that is felt by the participants in a divorce. Children can bear the brunt of that emotional scarring. In many cases, it can also be difficult for fathers emotionally, as their children can be isolated from them, making it tough not only to be active in their lives as a dad but also to connect with the children if there is still some contact.
On the other side, the mother can feel emotionally and physically overwhelmed as a result of a divorce. The other part of the parenting tandem being absent, mothers often have to take on more responsibility in the raising of the children. Often, this leads to resentment as the mother is unable to provide the necessary love the children need.
The biggest human cost must surely be the children who have had no bearing on how the situation has arisen but are nonetheless caught in the crossfire. If the breakdown of the marriage is not an amicable one then the resentment and anger of the parents has a devastating effect on the children who do not possess the maturity our coping skills to deal with this traumatic event.
Children can often feel like they are responsible for a divorce and can then take the stress of the events on themselves as well. This can leave children feeling like they cannot be part of a stable relationship in a friendship sense or, later in adolescence, in a romantic sense. Social situations will also tend to be skewed and seem like they are not conducive to the child being involved, which can further hurt their development.
If the divorce has occurred by one partner being unfaithful to the other then this can leave the other partner with feelings of rejection, mistrust and doubts about self image that often carry on into further relationships. Whilst the unfaithful partner has feelings of guilt they inflict an emotional scar on their loved one that may never heal.
With divorce rates as high as they are in many countries worldwide, divorce is a reality. Even if marriages do not intend to end in divorce, many often do, with often traumatic results to the families broken up. Because divorces are a no-win proposition in many cases, the best advice to figure should you be considering that route is to ensure the breaking up of the marriage happens smoothly and friendly.
Divorce can be a way to end a bad relationship and begin a better partnership with another person that could last for the rest of your life. Although divorce isn't an easy thing to approach or go through with, it can be done without too much in the way of ill effects to the parties involved. If it is done properly, a divorce can be a way for two people to move on with their lives with minimal emotional impact on themselves and their families.
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