Is Your Marriage Stronger Than An Affair?
submitted: Jul 31st 2008 |
by: AlexArcher
Total views: 10 |
Word Count: 693 |
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To try to explain the emotions one feels when they have just learned their spouse is having an affair is most difficult, but one can acknowledge that a sense of betrayal, anger, and hurt are among the prevalent ones. Confusion can take hold as well, and when in the midst of the emotional turmoil of an affair, it is all too easy to act with haste. An affair need not mean the end of marriage. Everything about your life need not change in a moment's time. If time is taken to consider what is really happening, and what the affair is indicating needs to occur at this time.
So are their reasons to stay married after an affair? Yes, there are. Have you ever looked at another person and lusted? Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be with another lover? Maybe you have unintentionally flirted with one of those people. The point is, we are all human. We make mistakes, but we learn from those mistakes.
When we learn from our mistakes, then our mistakes are not necessarily a bad thing. Even when the mistake has been an extramarital affair. Mistakes cause us to learn, to reach for something better, to step outside of our usual selves and grow. Growing through an affair together with our partner is possible. It may even make the marriage more durable, the partners more united.
Provided the one who strayed is actually sorry for their actions, the marriage can be build up from here. It doesn't matter who cheated on whom. It matters that both parties care enough to work on getting past this issue, and that there is a desire to remain together, and a willingness on both of their parts to face the difficult moments that will come as they forge ahead together. The marriage can not only survive, but thrive as well.
Caught up in the moment of the affair, you might be asking yourself why stopping the infidelity is a good idea. Ask yourself about any guilty feelings you might have had when the affair began, and look deeper, to see why you had this guilt. You probably had no intention of hurting your spouse, nor did you wish for your marriage to end. Was the guilt because you do in fact love your spouse? After all, you both have invested a lot of time and self in the building of this marriage. Yes, you do love your spouse after all.
Part of the appeal of an affair is that the other party is a mystery, and the situation is intriguing and exciting in a way that marriage just isn't anymore. Perhaps the risk of getting caught is exciting as well. The likelihood that this relationship will endure over time once the feelings of excitement and the newness pass isn't very promising. After those emotions that you revel in now are no longer there, in all probability, it will be your spouse that you will want to go home to. Before the opportunity passes, you need to make the decision to stop your infidelity.
Another good reason to end the infidelity is because no one knows you like your spouse, the person you have lived with for years on end, who has seen you at your best and at your worst. Despite hard times, they have remained with you. They love you, and you still love them. This ugly dishonest relationship on the side is driving a wedge between the both of you. You need to stop it.
When you married each other it was in love. That love has played a big part in holding the relationship together when the storms came. Now, you have another storm to face together. If you both have what it takes to work past the affair, you will come out the other side of it stronger and more deeply in love. Because of the reasons you married each other, these same reasons are the ones that will keep you married.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start restoring your marriage right now.
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