Keeping A Marriage Together In The 21st Century
submitted: May 6th 2008 |
by: MarriageSaver
Total views: 3 |
Word Count: 585 |
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For many hundreds of years leading up to and including the 19th century, most married couples remained married. The majority of these couples stayed married because they didn't have many options. Many stayed together due to necessity or their belief or for the sake of the children, so they would not be ridiculed. Even though they stayed together, many of those marriages were not happy.
Throughout the 20th century and into the 21st century, more and more married couples have decided to end their marriage at a rate of approximately 50%. There are many reasons that lead to divorce and separation, and it seems that the changes in society, especially in the American culture have made it easier than ever to end a marriage.
At the same time, does anyone really enter a marriage believing that they're not going to stay together? Are there some things a couple can do to head this off before the problems get so severe that they need to separate and divorce? There are always circumstances that will lead to divorce and have for centuries but let's look at a few ways to stay in in a good marriage.
When a newly married couple is at the altar, we often hear statements like, "in sickness and in health" or "till death do us part," which mean we are going to make this work and stay together. The sad thing is, at the first sign of trouble or when things get rough, in our disposable society, it's easy to discard the person and the relationship. On the other hand, a good foundation to a marriage is a commitment to each other to stay together.
Now at the beginning of your marriage, if you did not make a commitment and you are fighting or struggling in your marriage, it's still not too late to make a commitment or to recommit your marriage. You will need to say to each other things like "I'm sorry, I still care about you, I love you, I want to make this work". If you make this type of commitment to each other, there will be hope.
Now, how does a couple proceed to heal and to carry out this new commitment. Some couples are able to do this on their own but most require some type of assistance, either through their church or synagogue or maybe friends or family, and possibly some professional counseling. The main thing is to make a plan and do something different.
Your new plan will take some time to get used to, to become a good habit. That's where you may need some help from a friend or family, from the outside. Or, it may be as simple as making Friday night or Saturday night a "date night." Be sure to say and do nice things for each other each day. Again, let this become a habit. It needs to be done regularly for a many weeks, doing something nice for your spouse, letting them know that you care.
This isn't always easy. This isn't a cure-all. This doesn't always work, but if you love each other and you want to make your marriage happier, do something for the other person. Make that other person happy with what you do, don't try and take from the relationship. Give to each other. If each person gives to the relationship, there's a chance for that relationship to heal and grow.
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