The Hidden Costs Of Divorce
submitted: Jun 20th 2008 |
by: AlexArcher
Total views: 9 |
Word Count: 557 |
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Is your marriage in trouble? Before you consider a divorce, consider the high emotional and financial costs of divorce. Even if an affair has occurred (this is one of the most common reasons to consider a divorce), it is possible for your relationship to recover.
A marriage is a bit like a corporation and taking it apart is complicated in many ways just as dismantling a business would be but with powerful feelings involved as well. Sometimes a financial appraisal is just as much in order as an emotional one when considering a divorce. If only one partner was a wage earner or if one has made much more than the other, the financial change can be devastating.
Maintaining two households is almost always more expensive than maintaining one and when you have kids it can cost even more. Not because the commute for the children costs the parents money, but because the process of being shuttled between parents can stress the children.
Make a true assessment of your situation and you should get a picture of the high cost of divorce financially and emotionally. Remember that child custody is not only a rocky and emotional issue for all involved, but that child support can be a financial nightmare for the parents.
What if you don't have children? You still have to divide the property and items acquired as a couple. Besides the practical items that had formally been shared, there is items that might have a sentimental attachment. You might have to sell your home, not only incurring the high cost of moving, but also losing a place of happy memories.
If your split is caused by money issues, see a financial counselor. The counselor will settle issues like dividing debts in some cases this kind of help might save a marriage.
If an affair is the cause of the split, you might be able to save the marriage with professional help. The clergy will often help at not expense, but there are also family services that charge on a sliding scale and private marriage counselors. Most importantly find someone who has experience with infidelity. Sometimes inexperienced or amateur counsel from friends and family can do far more harm than good.
If you are the betrayed party, it is normal to be hurt by the affair. Don't forget though, the same vows that pledged you both to fidelity also pledge you to sticking together in both good and bad times. It might help to take time to understand the \"whys\" of the affair. Remember, the cheater is a human being who makes mistakes (like we all do).
The identity of being a couple should not be underestimated either, and divorcing changes the whole social dynamic with friends and activities. Even when both parties want a divorce, loneliness is common and so is drifting into impulsive relationships far too soon. A couple should try to remember the good times and put the current distress into perspective.
Divorce is expensive both financially and emotionally and in many cases can be avoided with the right help and the dedication to try to save the relationship. If divorce is inevitable, help from outside by experts may ease some of the financial and emotional pain. Being honest about the costs makes the decision clearer for both of you.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start recoverying from the affair right now.
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